Comments on: When You’re Home Alone

By: charles

charles — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 01:41:46 +0000

Aw gosh it is SO nice to have your coherent, joyful, healthy and loving insights.

THANK YOU!

Charles

By: David

David — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 21:37:44 +0000

I do things I like that my partner doesn’t — mostly, nowadays, that means I go out rock-climbing.

By: Greg

Greg — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 19:10:06 +0000

A self-confessed solipsist-in-therapy, I actively need the solo time to re-energise for the rigours of social interaction, so I value my partner’s time with her other for its own sake. That in no way invalidates your advice, of course. It all seems imminently sensible. And fun, besides.

By: Shanlea

Shanlea — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 19:01:19 +0000

I like this, even though that all of my poly experience has been as a secondary or other significant other. It helps me form what I would like in a primary poly relationship. Thank you

By: Christine

Christine — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 15:20:49 +0000

I used to mope!

But I turned that around a while back. I decided that if he was going to take time off from our relationship to do the things he wanted to do, then well I had the same option. I began looking around for activiites that appealed to me. I began scheduling those activities and telling him he was welcome to join me if he wanted to. On some occasions he has, on others he hasn’t. But it has been very good for me to take the time to do what I enjoy without worrying about whether or not he will be “left out”. I need to take care of my own interests if I am going to be a contributing member to the relationsihp.

By: CJ

CJ — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 13:55:57 +0000

Being a person with small children, if I EVER get time to myself it is cherished. My hubby and I make deals for time to do what we like since our schedules are so packed. He goes on a date for 2-hours, I get 2-hours to do whatever I need to relax.

By: Wolfger

Wolfger — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 12:57:29 +0000

For me… I love computers. WAY more than anybody I share my life with. When I get alone time, I’m *happy*, because it means I can indulge in pure geekiness. The full 9 yards. IM, IRC, Skype, e-mail, browser with Stumble Upon plugin, music (on my hard drive, or via streaming internet radio), and I’m probably missing a thing or two. I will engage in as many of these as possible simultaneously (or nearly so). The time flies by.

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 11:58:04 +0000

Actually I tried from the beginning to NOT do anything “special” for myself since my live-in partner is at his other residence every other night, I only see my other partner once or twice a week, and I have a LOT of stuff to get done — intellectual, creative, social, etc.

Because if I don’t treat such nights as being “normal”, then to me they never actually will be. Instead I’ll be trying so hard not to feel sorry for myself that I will end up feeling like I *should* be feeling sorry for myself, when in reality I *don’t* feel all that sorry for myself in this respect.

Obviously that’s what works for me; I’m not trying to dismiss what works for others, of course. Plus, a lot of the stuff I need to get done is rather fulfilling.

By: Rey the SYmp

Rey the SYmp — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 11:22:09 +0000

I so agree with you about “Do something special for you”. I used it some time ago also when I got dumped just before a date - I went out and bought special coffee, chocolates, and a book I wanted to read. Curled up in front of the heater and had “me time”. Loved it.