Comments on: I’m okay, you suck http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/06/03/im-okay-you-suck/ Wielding the Stick of Grandmotherly Kindness Thu, 07 Aug 2008 19:54:49 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: amy http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/06/03/im-okay-you-suck/#comment-137 amy Sun, 03 Jun 2007 23:09:50 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=57#comment-137 <i>I do look forward to the day when fringe groups in general are judged by the same standards are the rest of the world. </i> Herein lies the root of the problem, however: judging. If people would spend less time judging and more time respecting other people's decisions and taking the time to be introspective about their own, we'd be in a much different world. I do look forward to the day when fringe groups in general are judged by the same standards are the rest of the world.

Herein lies the root of the problem, however: judging. If people would spend less time judging and more time respecting other people’s decisions and taking the time to be introspective about their own, we’d be in a much different world.

]]> By: Josh http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/06/03/im-okay-you-suck/#comment-138 Josh Sun, 03 Jun 2007 22:04:51 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=57#comment-138 The "compensation syndrome" thing you mention towards the end amuses me, as it ironically seems to power a good deal of public antipathy by itself. I wonder how much anti-poly attitude comes from xenophobia, compared to bad associations caused by people who use polyamory as a self-congratulatory badge, a cheap out when they can't hold their end of an arguement, and/or a way to browbeat prospective partners. Don't get me wrong. When one is not drawing attention to oneself as a polyamorist, I think you hit the nail on the head. Be a general good person first and foremost, a credit to your kink incidentally. But when one draws attention to oneself as a member of any (sub)culture, one should be mindful how one comes across. And if you really want to be a credit to your subculture, call out other people when they create a bad association for the whole. Especially this last is something I'd like to see more discussion on. The “compensation syndrome” thing you mention towards the end amuses me, as it ironically seems to power a good deal of public antipathy by itself. I wonder how much anti-poly attitude comes from xenophobia, compared to bad associations caused by people who use polyamory as a self-congratulatory badge, a cheap out when they can’t hold their end of an arguement, and/or a way to browbeat prospective partners.

Don’t get me wrong. When one is not drawing attention to oneself as a polyamorist, I think you hit the nail on the head. Be a general good person first and foremost, a credit to your kink incidentally. But when one draws attention to oneself as a member of any (sub)culture, one should be mindful how one comes across. And if you really want to be a credit to your subculture, call out other people when they create a bad association for the whole. Especially this last is something I’d like to see more discussion on.

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