Comments on: Woo! Hoo! An Interview!

By: catrinaz

catrinaz — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 15:17:00 +0000

i was interviewed this week by tristan taormino, for her new book on open relationships. what it’s like to be tenaciously single/autonomous/non-hierarchical in a poly community that seems to assume primaries are desirable/the norm was one of the topics we discussed for quite a while.

i don’t know if folks like you, noël, and i are actually unusual or just not as visible.

By: Goddess of Java

Goddess of Java — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 01:06:09 +0000

I think most people do tend to have a primary of some sort, or several primaries.

That being said, I’m single and plan to stay that way in terms of living arrangements. I think I’m a a little unusual in this.

By: Linda

Linda — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 00:59:21 +0000

This is a question generated by a non-poly friend of mine upon reading the interview. Thought I would post it for the benefit of others:

The only question that I seem to have is do most people have a “main’ person they’re with or married to such as you and Michael and then branch out to others with whom they form bonds?
[Linda >>] Probably the majority do have a primary partner or spouse, but not everyone. There are triads and quads where everyone is on a more or less equal footing and other groups that are more of an intimate network/clan. Currently, I have my primary relationship with Michael, but my local partner and I have been together for several years and he is also married. They introduced me to my LDR partner a few years ago and we became involved recently. I enjoy flirtations, but I only sleep with friends. (Rule #2) This generally means my relationships are less volatile than a relationship that started in bed, IMHO. Michael has since the interview begun a couple of more casual relationships, more like friends with benefits, with women whom I consider friends as well.

By: Amethest

Amethest — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 06:26:43 +0000

Thanks for posting it, it’s a great read. I’m hoping to be where they are now (as a projection of where I’ve found now) 27 years from now.

Interesting food for thought.

- Amy

By: fla_sunshine

fla_sunshine — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 01:02:04 +0000

This sounds so familiar at the beginning – my wife and I first got together about a year later and were married Thanksgiving 1980. We were also in an “open marriage” from the start and will have been married for 27 years next Thanksgiving. I always felt we were making it all up as we went along, and while we were in lifestyle tolerant communities (SF fandom and Pagan), we did not get involved with explicitly poly organizations until recently when I retired. I have had a relationship with the third member of our “family” for over 20 years, but we are all still working to get it right.

By: Kitwench

Kitwench — Sun, 01 Jul 2007 12:42:24 +0000

Absolutely lovely- stumbling this to a few friends :)