Comments on: Being Used

By: On Gaslighting | The Polyamorous Misanthrope

On Gaslighting | The Polyamorous Misanthrope — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 22:39:43 +0000

[...] [2] http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/07/15/being-used/ [...]

By: Goddess of Java

Goddess of Java — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 01:53:12 +0000

Yes, I believe that it is not only possible, I think it’s more common than otherwise. I think people often gasslight themselves first.

By: Acacia

Acacia — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 01:48:23 +0000

wow…is it possible for someone to gaslight you unconsciously? I think that might explain something I went through in the spring, something so crazymaking I decided that while there is polyamory and polyf*ckery, this was polywtfery!

By: John

John — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 15:13:51 +0000

Current partner/primary showed me this — It kind of sums up why my marriage went down the toilet long before we broke up last year. Thanks for the link on Gaslighting — very illuminating stuff (as was the whole article in general).

By: kinnari

kinnari — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 06:52:49 +0000

wow! gaslighting. so that’s what it’s called!

i had read people of the lie [imagine that book title was underlined] by scott peck which describes similar phenom. but i had never heard of that term.

“crazymaking” is described in patricia evan’s work on verbal abuse and in other books on the subject. seems like the same strategy. sick sick sick.

great article!

By: bokomaru

bokomaru — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 04:40:46 +0000

*shiver* I wish someone had given me the word “gaslighting” 5 years ago.

By: City Mouse

City Mouse — Sun, 15 Jul 2007 17:15:18 +0000

Thanks for writing this. For years after my polyamorous relationship ended I am still affected some of things that went on during that hellacious time in my life. My current partner is, well, a *partner*, so things are much better now. But every time I see somebody write something like this, I feel a little lighter bout the whole thing. :-)

By: Jordan

Jordan — Sun, 15 Jul 2007 15:26:27 +0000

Good insights!

By: Humanhabitrail

Humanhabitrail — Sun, 15 Jul 2007 14:42:22 +0000

Wow.

“Gaslighting.”

Now I have a way to explain how I was treated in much of the eight years of my last LTR. Being told that the obvious is not the obvious, and that I was clearly batty for thinking otherwise.

By: Goddess of Java

Goddess of Java — Sun, 15 Jul 2007 13:54:10 +0000

Here's probably the best definition of gaslighting I've seen. I'll change the text of the article to put the link in there, too.