Comments on: Being Used http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/07/15/being-used/ Wielding the Stick of Grandmotherly Kindness Thu, 28 Aug 2008 03:54:59 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Goddess of Java http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/07/15/being-used/#comment-5595 Goddess of Java Mon, 14 Jul 2008 01:53:12 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=63#comment-5595 Yes, I believe that it is not only possible, I think it's more common than otherwise. I think people often gasslight themselves first. Yes, I believe that it is not only possible, I think it’s more common than otherwise. I think people often gasslight themselves first.

]]> By: Acacia http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/07/15/being-used/#comment-5594 Acacia Mon, 14 Jul 2008 01:48:23 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=63#comment-5594 wow...is it possible for someone to gaslight you unconsciously? I think that might explain something I went through in the spring, something so crazymaking I decided that while there is polyamory and polyf*ckery, this was polywtfery! wow…is it possible for someone to gaslight you unconsciously? I think that might explain something I went through in the spring, something so crazymaking I decided that while there is polyamory and polyf*ckery, this was polywtfery!

]]> By: John http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/07/15/being-used/#comment-157 John Thu, 19 Jul 2007 15:13:51 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=63#comment-157 Current partner/primary showed me this -- It kind of sums up why my marriage went down the toilet long before we broke up last year. Thanks for the link on Gaslighting -- very illuminating stuff (as was the whole article in general). Current partner/primary showed me this — It kind of sums up why my marriage went down the toilet long before we broke up last year. Thanks for the link on Gaslighting — very illuminating stuff (as was the whole article in general).

]]> By: kinnari http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/07/15/being-used/#comment-156 kinnari Thu, 19 Jul 2007 06:52:49 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=63#comment-156 wow! gaslighting. so that's what it's called! i had read people of the lie [imagine that book title was underlined] by scott peck which describes similar phenom. but i had never heard of that term. "crazymaking" is described in patricia evan's work on verbal abuse and in other books on the subject. seems like the same strategy. sick sick sick. great article! wow! gaslighting. so that’s what it’s called!

i had read people of the lie [imagine that book title was underlined] by scott peck which describes similar phenom. but i had never heard of that term.

“crazymaking” is described in patricia evan’s work on verbal abuse and in other books on the subject. seems like the same strategy. sick sick sick.

great article!

]]> By: bokomaru http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/07/15/being-used/#comment-158 bokomaru Mon, 16 Jul 2007 04:40:46 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=63#comment-158 *shiver* I wish someone had given me the word "gaslighting" 5 years ago. *shiver* I wish someone had given me the word “gaslighting” 5 years ago.

]]> By: City Mouse http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/07/15/being-used/#comment-160 City Mouse Sun, 15 Jul 2007 17:15:18 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=63#comment-160 Thanks for writing this. For years after my polyamorous relationship ended I am still affected some of things that went on during that hellacious time in my life. My current partner is, well, a *partner*, so things are much better now. But every time I see somebody write something like this, I feel a little lighter bout the whole thing. :-) Thanks for writing this. For years after my polyamorous relationship ended I am still affected some of things that went on during that hellacious time in my life. My current partner is, well, a *partner*, so things are much better now. But every time I see somebody write something like this, I feel a little lighter bout the whole thing. :-)

]]> By: Jordan http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/07/15/being-used/#comment-159 Jordan Sun, 15 Jul 2007 15:26:27 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=63#comment-159 Good insights! Good insights!

]]> By: Humanhabitrail http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/07/15/being-used/#comment-163 Humanhabitrail Sun, 15 Jul 2007 14:42:22 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=63#comment-163 Wow. "Gaslighting." Now I have a way to explain how I was treated in much of the eight years of my last LTR. Being told that the obvious is not the obvious, and that I was clearly batty for thinking otherwise. Wow.

“Gaslighting.”

Now I have a way to explain how I was treated in much of the eight years of my last LTR. Being told that the obvious is not the obvious, and that I was clearly batty for thinking otherwise.

]]> By: Goddess of Java http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/07/15/being-used/#comment-162 Goddess of Java Sun, 15 Jul 2007 13:54:10 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=63#comment-162 <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting" rel="nofollow">Here's</a> probably the best definition of gaslighting I've seen. I'll change the text of the article to put the link in there, too. Here’s probably the best definition of gaslighting I’ve seen. I’ll change the text of the article to put the link in there, too.

]]> By: Eposia http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/07/15/being-used/#comment-161 Eposia Sun, 15 Jul 2007 13:52:11 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=63#comment-161 Hey, great article! Only one question, and it's minor: I'm not familiar with the term "gaslighting" as you use it in the second-to-last paragraph. Can you point me toward where to learn this? Hey, great article! Only one question, and it’s minor: I’m not familiar with the term “gaslighting” as you use it in the second-to-last paragraph. Can you point me toward where to learn this?

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