You speak of sex, unbound by the “fairy tale of monogamy”, as the reality while the monogamous “One True Love” style relationship is a “lie”. This is what you believe.

“Worse than a lie
It’s a poisoned apple so shiny and lovely
That will choke you and leave you cold encased in glass.”

This describes your own experiences and observations of the “One True Love” sexual relationship. What was meaningful from your “One True Love” relationship is a “lie”, and the pain seems to have outweighed anything positive. . . Is it true that the negatives and positives we experience from our “One True Love” relationships are meaningless as compared to the sundry and various sexual relationships we have with “many loves”? Can these “many loves” be called “TRUE”?

And is “truth” many things, or is “truth” one thing and one thing only?

It boils down to ‘absolutes’ or lack thereof always.

With the way you define “meaningful”, anything can be meaningful. Even a dog pissing on the leg of a man. Sex with a goat, under your definitions, can be emotional meaningful to someone. We can squeeze emotional meaning from anything. And what is good meaningful and what is bad meaningful? Some people always want to erase the boundaries for fear of something. . . perhaps fear that their individual lives will not be good enough, perhaps for fear of failure that they must cover up and not call “bad”? It becomes egotistical and full of pride. No one likes to be “wrong” or “bad”, so we’ve convenientally blurred the boundaries.

What does “meaningful” mean? How do we define it personally?

I think sex is a religious mystery. And I do believe in “One True Love” relationships as there is more to be learned, improved in myself (and enjoyed!) by submitting to self-discipline, refinement by trial, learning to put self last while serving another. . . as for the sexual enjoyment part, there is no boredom in a monogamous sexual relationship built upon TRUTH where both parties endeavor to serve one another through serving God. There’s freedom in that really.

ALL relationships go through UGLY times. It’s the “fairy tale” of polyamory that is a “lie”. Sister, you keep preaching the lie to all so desperate to believe it because they cannot handle the TRUTH. The truth about our ugly state in humanity. Humanity is not beautiful without TRUTH.

Sex is a religious mystery, more than a human physical or emotional function. I guess I have higher standards, and I do believe in ‘absolutes’. (Makes me a Sith, I s’pose, haha.)

Nicole hasn’t become totally blind to the truth. I think it’s totally natural for her to be hurt by her ex’s behaviour. . . Human beings are hardwired to be “significant” to someone. If a person does not understand his/her significance to God, his/her self-esteem is built on that which is false and empty. Nicole’s bigger problem may be that she doesn’t understand how significant she is to God. Most women do look for significance (they want to mean everything to one man, have that one man sacrifice for her, etc.) in a monogamous, hopefully marriage, relationship. Men who do not fulfill that role of protector, monogamous husband, and do not learn to serve in a servant-leadership role will never feel fulfilled as men. Both men and women who never realize this are empty and continue searching and searching.

Have you become totally numb to it? Have your eyes and heart been so closed to God’s mysterious design for sex in a monogamous marital relationship? Open them, sugar, before it’s too late.

Sex is a mystery, and you will never pin it down. It is a mystery, and not even science as we know it can get close to its origins. . . unless it looks to the Creator. Polyamory doesn’t look to the Creator. It’s a false religion that you will die upon. . .

Nicole, find significance in God, and you will find more satisfaction in a marital monogamous relationship. Don’t waste yourself on something so nebulous (as human definition can be) as the Goddess of Java’s philosophies. Her philosophies are whims constructed on her poems and personal experiences. Find something ancient to give direction to your life. I say the Bible will be your best bet. Goddess of Java has built her philosophies on science fiction and the experiments of the Flower Power era.

I agree that all sex has meaning, but I also use the term sex to define not just intercourse or orgasmic release but an exchange of experiences that touch us. Someone made reference to a hot fudge sundae, and if there is a moment in which two people are sharing the experience of the hot fudge sundae, it is in fact meaningful and could be, depending on how stimulated they are by it, considered sexual in nature.

There are those who can disconnect the act of sex from love or from emotion, but just because it is disconnected from other emotions does not imply it has no meaning. Would that not cheapen the experience itself? Are we not allowed to find meaning in a totally physical emotionally non-binding experience?

What is an absolute for one is simply not so for another- sex can be meaningless, unless one applies the same meaning to a hot fudge sundae.