Comments on: One is Silver, and the Other Gold… http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/10/22/one-is-silver-and-the-other-gold/ Wielding the Stick of Grandmotherly Kindness Thu, 28 Aug 2008 03:51:24 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Ember http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/10/22/one-is-silver-and-the-other-gold/#comment-2274 Ember Mon, 29 Oct 2007 07:03:49 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/10/22/one-is-silver-and-the-other-gold/#comment-2274 I get that, Mojave66. It was never really a choice for me either. Not loving many is not really possible for me. The only choice is how one acts on that love. Serial monogamy, Denial, or admitted poly seem the only real options. I get that, Mojave66.
It was never really a choice for me either.
Not loving many is not really possible for me.
The only choice is how one acts on that love.
Serial monogamy, Denial, or admitted poly seem the only real options.

]]> By: Mojave66 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/10/22/one-is-silver-and-the-other-gold/#comment-2242 Mojave66 Mon, 22 Oct 2007 18:23:12 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/10/22/one-is-silver-and-the-other-gold/#comment-2242 Thanks for an interesting perspective! I'm in a weird place; I don't *want* to be poly but I am, Blanche, I just am. So I definitely don't have that feeling like being a kid in a candy store, more like having to face coming out of yet another closet. So for me, I WANT to see the scars. I NEED to see them, to hear about what is working and what isn't for people. And YES, I *will* be mindful of the "new to me" stuff. I'm watching a newish friend who is coming out of the gay leatherman closet, and he's very cute and puppy-ish, in every sense of the word, from the sublime to the annoying. :-) Thanks for an interesting perspective! I’m in a weird place; I don’t *want* to be poly but I am, Blanche, I just am. So I definitely don’t have that feeling like being a kid in a candy store, more like having to face coming out of yet another closet. So for me, I WANT to see the scars. I NEED to see them, to hear about what is working and what isn’t for people.

And YES, I *will* be mindful of the “new to me” stuff. I’m watching a newish friend who is coming out of the gay leatherman closet, and he’s very cute and puppy-ish, in every sense of the word, from the sublime to the annoying. :-)

]]> By: JenK http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/10/22/one-is-silver-and-the-other-gold/#comment-2241 JenK Mon, 22 Oct 2007 16:52:20 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/10/22/one-is-silver-and-the-other-gold/#comment-2241 Killian - One advantage to the "poly community" in Seattle is that it isn't. It's a bunch of communities / families / friends groups that intersect and overlap a bit. I've found a group I'm quite comfortable in - but I know there are others out there. I've also reached the point where most of my friends either are poly themselves or they're so used to it that it's not an issue. It's just my life. -Jen Killian -

One advantage to the “poly community” in Seattle is that it isn’t. It’s a bunch of communities / families / friends groups that intersect and overlap a bit. I’ve found a group I’m quite comfortable in - but I know there are others out there.

I’ve also reached the point where most of my friends either are poly themselves or they’re so used to it that it’s not an issue. It’s just my life.

-Jen

]]> By: LittlePhant http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/10/22/one-is-silver-and-the-other-gold/#comment-2238 LittlePhant Mon, 22 Oct 2007 11:53:33 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/10/22/one-is-silver-and-the-other-gold/#comment-2238 Thank you for posting this article! I am new to poly (only 3 months in)... and I am glad to understand how "the old crew" feel, and I take the criticsm with a grain of salt, I know they are trying to help, and it is good to glean those little bits of advice that work with what I am doing/feeling.. and I tend to let the others roll off my back... Thanks again for writing this article... Thank you for posting this article! I am new to poly (only 3 months in)… and I am glad to understand how “the old crew” feel, and I take the criticsm with a grain of salt, I know they are trying to help, and it is good to glean those little bits of advice that work with what I am doing/feeling.. and I tend to let the others roll off my back…

Thanks again for writing this article…

]]> By: Killian http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/10/22/one-is-silver-and-the-other-gold/#comment-2229 Killian Mon, 22 Oct 2007 05:25:08 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2007/10/22/one-is-silver-and-the-other-gold/#comment-2229 My wife and I are relatively new to poly - say a year and a half - but I completely understand the heartache that can come with it, as we've already been through a few relationships that ended badly or turned out poorly. Like any relationship, you learn what you want and don't want in a partner (or partners). What really bugs me about the poly community, especially in my area, is that it seems to be nothing but jaded older folks who not only have few nice things to say to anyone new to the group, but they have very little interest in truly being an open community outside of the forums that they love to post their nasty comments. It's really difficult to feel any sort of connection with them. Granted I understand that not everyone will get along - even in a community of like interests - but there is a sincere lack of empathy that is disappointing. Thanks for the post; I've passed it on to a few other newly-poly friends. I may post some thoughts on my own blog, too :) My wife and I are relatively new to poly - say a year and a half - but I completely understand the heartache that can come with it, as we’ve already been through a few relationships that ended badly or turned out poorly. Like any relationship, you learn what you want and don’t want in a partner (or partners).

What really bugs me about the poly community, especially in my area, is that it seems to be nothing but jaded older folks who not only have few nice things to say to anyone new to the group, but they have very little interest in truly being an open community outside of the forums that they love to post their nasty comments. It’s really difficult to feel any sort of connection with them. Granted I understand that not everyone will get along - even in a community of like interests - but there is a sincere lack of empathy that is disappointing.

Thanks for the post; I’ve passed it on to a few other newly-poly friends. I may post some thoughts on my own blog, too :)

]]>