Comments on: When You Catch the Unicorn http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/02/25/when-you-catch-the-unicorn/ Wielding the Stick of Grandmotherly Kindness Sat, 17 May 2008 05:57:40 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Happy Pete http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/02/25/when-you-catch-the-unicorn/#comment-3949 Happy Pete Sat, 15 Mar 2008 13:30:23 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/02/25/when-you-catch-the-unicorn/#comment-3949 Getting some oddness in the itemized lists, such as HTML-escaped HTML comments appearing as text, as in <!--[if !supportLists]-->· <!--[endif]--> Getting some oddness in the itemized lists, such as HTML-escaped HTML comments appearing as text, as in <!–[if !supportLists]–>· <!–[endif]–>

]]> By: mosca cojonera http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/02/25/when-you-catch-the-unicorn/#comment-3832 mosca cojonera Wed, 05 Mar 2008 18:14:10 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/02/25/when-you-catch-the-unicorn/#comment-3832 hi,... i've translated your article to Spanish http://la-mosca-cojonera.blogspot.com/2008/03/cuando-atrapas-al-unicornio_03.html showing a link to your blog and your original article. I'm sure it will be helpful for our poly group in Spain :) http://es.groups.yahoo.com/group/poliamor/ according to creative commons licence, I've translated the whole article and i haven't done any change in it. I hope you like the idea! thank you hi,…
i’ve translated your article to Spanish
http://la-mosca-cojonera.blogspot.com/2008/03/cuando-atrapas-al-unicornio_03.html
showing a link to your blog and your original article.
I’m sure it will be helpful for our poly group in Spain :)
http://es.groups.yahoo.com/group/poliamor/

according to creative commons licence, I’ve translated the whole article and i haven’t done any change in it. I hope you like the idea!
thank you

]]> By: Mutt http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/02/25/when-you-catch-the-unicorn/#comment-3807 Mutt Tue, 04 Mar 2008 03:36:10 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/02/25/when-you-catch-the-unicorn/#comment-3807 Bravo! It seems somewhat self-evident _now_ (read: after a failed triad attempt), but hindsight is always 20/20. I wish that I'd read this column a year or more ago, it would have saved several people that I love dearly from much heartache and heartbreak (read: melodrama). Cheers. Mutt Bravo! It seems somewhat self-evident _now_ (read: after a failed triad attempt), but hindsight is always 20/20. I wish that I’d read this column a year or more ago, it would have saved several people that I love dearly from much heartache and heartbreak (read: melodrama).

Cheers.

Mutt

]]> By: Kate m. http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/02/25/when-you-catch-the-unicorn/#comment-3755 Kate m. Wed, 27 Feb 2008 01:12:12 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/02/25/when-you-catch-the-unicorn/#comment-3755 Wish the couple I'd been involved with had known this. My instincts were nearly exactly what you've written here, but it was so foreign to them, and I had so little experience under my belt that they were easily dismissed. It gets painful - fast - to be the "plus" in a "couple plus" relationship. There's nothing really plus about it. Wish the couple I’d been involved with had known this. My instincts were nearly exactly what you’ve written here, but it was so foreign to them, and I had so little experience under my belt that they were easily dismissed. It gets painful - fast - to be the “plus” in a “couple plus” relationship. There’s nothing really plus about it.

]]> By: Dave http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/02/25/when-you-catch-the-unicorn/#comment-3754 Dave Tue, 26 Feb 2008 19:49:57 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/02/25/when-you-catch-the-unicorn/#comment-3754 Dear Goddess; Great work. If you get a chance, I'd love for you to drop by my blog too. Leave a comment and I'll ad you to the blogroll. www.my2wives.com Mr. X Dear Goddess;

Great work. If you get a chance, I’d love for you to drop by my blog too. Leave a comment and I’ll ad you to the blogroll.

http://www.my2wives.com

Mr. X

]]> By: Edward Martin III http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/02/25/when-you-catch-the-unicorn/#comment-3753 Edward Martin III Tue, 26 Feb 2008 17:59:27 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/02/25/when-you-catch-the-unicorn/#comment-3753 Yes, I concur heartily with the separate rooms or at least separate private-space issue. Yes, I concur heartily with the separate rooms or at least separate private-space issue.

]]> By: Linda Kazalski http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/02/25/when-you-catch-the-unicorn/#comment-3746 Linda Kazalski Tue, 26 Feb 2008 01:19:01 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/02/25/when-you-catch-the-unicorn/#comment-3746 LOL - Yes...long-term married poly - and I am currently involved in a triad with one of my partners and his girlfriend - but they don't even live together - he's rather pleased with himself for getting involved with two women he introduced to each other who enjoy each other's company - as well as his. He's decided that he needs to get a king-sized bed. It is an LDR for me and they spend a lot of time together when I'm not there. Sometimes it is all three of us together for the weekend, sometimes he and I, sometimes she and I....and we spend a lot of time talking online and on the phone. It is a balanced relationship for all that we don't live together. LOL - Yes…long-term married poly - and I am currently involved in a triad with one of my partners and his girlfriend - but they don’t even live together - he’s rather pleased with himself for getting involved with two women he introduced to each other who enjoy each other’s company - as well as his. He’s decided that he needs to get a king-sized bed. It is an LDR for me and they spend a lot of time together when I’m not there. Sometimes it is all three of us together for the weekend, sometimes he and I, sometimes she and I….and we spend a lot of time talking online and on the phone.

It is a balanced relationship for all that we don’t live together.

]]> By: Cherie http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/02/25/when-you-catch-the-unicorn/#comment-3745 Cherie Mon, 25 Feb 2008 21:19:17 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/02/25/when-you-catch-the-unicorn/#comment-3745 Oh yes.. great advice! My former quad implemented a lot of these guidelines when we bought a house together. Each of us having our own personal space was invaluable. We set our home up so that we had two master bedrooms and 4 combo office/bedrooms for each individual. This gave a lot of room for configurability. And when our quad eventually turned into two couples (two different pairings than where we began), the house gave us a lot of flexibility to live as two couplings sharing a house for quite a long while after the split until we could handle the real estate stuff to eventually move on. Another recommendation I'd further make is handling the financial end of things as individuals. It's amazing how just everyone having their own checking/savings/credit cards accounts and then contributing to a central household account really sets up a nice business structure that gives everyone a sense individuality. I could imagine it would be rather intimidating for a new person coming into a household with a couple who had all their finances completely tied together. Oh yes.. great advice! My former quad implemented a lot of these guidelines when we bought a house together. Each of us having our own personal space was invaluable. We set our home up so that we had two master bedrooms and 4 combo office/bedrooms for each individual. This gave a lot of room for configurability.

And when our quad eventually turned into two couples (two different pairings than where we began), the house gave us a lot of flexibility to live as two couplings sharing a house for quite a long while after the split until we could handle the real estate stuff to eventually move on.

Another recommendation I’d further make is handling the financial end of things as individuals. It’s amazing how just everyone having their own checking/savings/credit cards accounts and then contributing to a central household account really sets up a nice business structure that gives everyone a sense individuality. I could imagine it would be rather intimidating for a new person coming into a household with a couple who had all their finances completely tied together.

]]> By: Alan http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/02/25/when-you-catch-the-unicorn/#comment-3744 Alan Mon, 25 Feb 2008 19:07:03 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/02/25/when-you-catch-the-unicorn/#comment-3744 > e.g. you can’t necessarily afford a house > where everyone gets a personal space. But even a single room can be divided in half with back-to-back dressers and a cloth hanging from the ceiling between them, and a custom that you don't go past the cloth without "knocking," and probably don't knock when the cloth is drawn shut. > e.g. you can’t necessarily afford a house
> where everyone gets a personal space.

But even a single room can be divided in half with back-to-back dressers and a cloth hanging from the ceiling between them, and a custom that you don’t go past the cloth without “knocking,” and probably don’t knock when the cloth is drawn shut.

]]> By: Leah http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/02/25/when-you-catch-the-unicorn/#comment-3743 Leah Mon, 25 Feb 2008 18:57:00 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/02/25/when-you-catch-the-unicorn/#comment-3743 Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! As the proverbial Unicorn, I see this over and over again. It doesn't matter if the couple has been poly for 20 years or 20 days, unless they are willing to come to the relationship as individuals rather than joined at the hip, then the triad (or moresome) is not going to last past the NRE and into real life. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

As the proverbial Unicorn, I see this over and over again. It doesn’t matter if the couple has been poly for 20 years or 20 days, unless they are willing to come to the relationship as individuals rather than joined at the hip, then the triad (or moresome) is not going to last past the NRE and into real life.

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