Comments on: Should You Have a Group Marriage? http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/04/28/should-you-have-a-group-marriage/ Wielding the Stick of Grandmotherly Kindness Thu, 07 Aug 2008 19:52:01 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: Bether http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/04/28/should-you-have-a-group-marriage/#comment-4444 Bether Tue, 29 Apr 2008 00:44:57 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=106#comment-4444 This is a good resource. I think the only thing I'd want to add is: if you cannot afford for each adult to have his/her own bedroom, rethink. My sweetie and I are in the process of purchasing a three-bedroom house, in which will live me, him, and a good friend he's lived with for years. My parents always look askance and require extra explanation when I comment on my bedroom vs. his bedroom (they don't know we're not monogamous). And it was starting to make me uncomfortable, until a poly friend put out a plea for a bedroom where he and a coming-to-visit lover could stay -- his live-in partner did not want them using the bed they share in their one-bedroom place. It reinforced for me that my decision was a good one. Even if I were to rarely sleep in my room, at least it will be there, and I can disappear by myself or with a lover. This is a good resource. I think the only thing I’d want to add is: if you cannot afford for each adult to have his/her own bedroom, rethink. My sweetie and I are in the process of purchasing a three-bedroom house, in which will live me, him, and a good friend he’s lived with for years. My parents always look askance and require extra explanation when I comment on my bedroom vs. his bedroom (they don’t know we’re not monogamous). And it was starting to make me uncomfortable, until a poly friend put out a plea for a bedroom where he and a coming-to-visit lover could stay — his live-in partner did not want them using the bed they share in their one-bedroom place. It reinforced for me that my decision was a good one. Even if I were to rarely sleep in my room, at least it will be there, and I can disappear by myself or with a lover.

]]> By: Glenn Murray http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/04/28/should-you-have-a-group-marriage/#comment-4431 Glenn Murray Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:26:50 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=106#comment-4431 Interesting article. For me, the abovesaid reasons never entered into why I'd like to have a multi-adult household, but I didn't marry my wife for many of the reasons others say they did/do. I married her because I wanted to live with her for the rest of my life. That's never changed. If I fall in love with another and they want to move in, the reason I'd want them living with me is the same. Being different from the rest of society has been a big part of my life for 31 years. My wife and I are of different races - which if you are young may not seem a big deal, but 31 years ago in the south it was. My parents didn't attend our wedding, not because they were racists, but because they were sure we would have a very hard time in life because of society and they didn't think they could hold it together through the ceremony. I'm a practicing Buddhist, living in the deep south. I'm also pan-sexual and have been for all of my adult life. Our marriage was an open marriage from the start. I'm quite used to being outside normal society, but I have to live my own life. A group marriage could be a disaster for me, but if I met the right person(s) I would want to live with them. You make many good points and I will bookmark this. If I ever find someone(s) new, fall in love, and my wife and they are open to living together I will have this resource. That said, at my age all the above conditions are unlikely. As you say, it's hard enough to find someone who is poly compatible. All the best Interesting article.

For me, the abovesaid reasons never entered into why I’d like to have a multi-adult household, but I didn’t marry my wife for many of the reasons others say they did/do. I married her because I wanted to live with her for the rest of my life. That’s never changed. If I fall in love with another and they want to move in, the reason I’d want them living with me is the same.

Being different from the rest of society has been a big part of my life for 31 years. My wife and I are of different races - which if you are young may not seem a big deal, but 31 years ago in the south it was. My parents didn’t attend our wedding, not because they were racists, but because they were sure we would have a very hard time in life because of society and they didn’t think they could hold it together through the ceremony. I’m a practicing Buddhist, living in the deep south. I’m also pan-sexual and have been for all of my adult life. Our marriage was an open marriage from the start. I’m quite used to being outside normal society, but I have to live my own life.

A group marriage could be a disaster for me, but if I met the right person(s) I would want to live with them.

You make many good points and I will bookmark this. If I ever find someone(s) new, fall in love, and my wife and they are open to living together I will have this resource. That said, at my age all the above conditions are unlikely. As you say, it’s hard enough to find someone who is poly compatible.

All the best

]]>