The Polyamorous Misanthrope

Sometimes when people join discussion boards in the polyamory community, they run across an alphabet soup of acronyms.

In an attempt to facilitate communication, I present the Polyamorous Misanthrope’s Official List of Polyamory Acronyms[1]:

BDSM - Bondage Discipline Sadism Masochism. You know, the kinky stuff. Chips, dips, chains, whips.

BTDT - Been There, Done That. The basic theme of the Polyamorous Misanthrope these days.

FWB - Friend With Benefits. This means it’s a friend you’re having sex with, but not necessarily romantically committed.

HBB - Hot Bi Babe. While we do exist,[2] the expression is usually used in a slightly negative way to make fun of people who want to “add a woman” to their family.

HNG - Horny Net Geek. I confess I’ve not seen this one in awhile. For that matter, I’ve not run across an HNG in awhile. I think I’ve succeeded in scaring the little bastards off. Go me!

IANAL - I Am Not A Lawyer. Sometimes we deal with legal issues in polyamorous relationships. If you get this tag with advice, the person is wisely pointing out that while the legal code seems to look a certain way, getting a lawyer is smart. Usually the formula is, “IANAL, but-”

IRL - In Real Life. Ferinstance, “Yeah, I know Wolfger IRL.” It means you’ve actually met and interacted with them in person. Astonishing.

NRE - New Relationship Energy. This is way to express the “falling in love” feeling without necessarily buying into the whole “one and only” paradigm of monogamous relationships. This is often an expression that’s used when your partner is being a dork and not paying you a lot of attention because of the new partner. Sometimes referred to as the “New Kitten Syndrome”.

OSO - Other Significant Other. You have more than one. It’s not this one, it’s the other one.

SiaSL - Stranger in a Strange Land. The most brilliant poly book ever written. Only a barbarian would think otherwise. Really. See my serious face[3]?

SO - Significant Other. This is your main squeeze if you do hierarchical polyamory, or one of your squeezes if you don’t.

TOCOTOX - Too Complicated To Explain. This isn’t seen on PolyFamilies much, but I’ve see it other places. I always get a “special snowflake” feel when I see it. I know, I suck.

YMMV - Your Mileage May Vary. We recognize that people, being inconsistent critters, might react to various situations differently. This is often added when people offer advice as a caveat that things don’t work the same every time.

[2] Ain’t I modest?

[3] No, don’t take this as an opportunity to trash it. If SiaSL had not been written, it is entirely possible that the enormous edification opportunities of this column would be lost to the world. Show some respect.