Comments on: How Do I Seduce Someone?

By: Billy Bite

Billy Bite — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 18:13:15 +0000

Are you insane? How could you be good for her? Thats just an immature inability to foresee consequences. She gave you the brush and you don’t take the hint. “I have a boyfriend”, is her gentle way of asking you ti keep your fat ass i. your oants. Good God, have you no limit to your selfish desires?

By: Brynndragon

Brynndragon — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 07:04:01 +0000

I want to note upfront that I have a bias against dating couples personally (I might date people who are dating each other, but not as a pre-packaged deal), but if you do find that unicorn more power to you.

I’ve been trying to figure out what about this letter bothers me (beyond the above) and I think it’s the author thinking they know what is best for someone else, especially when they have an emotional attachment to the outcome (i.e. too close to the trees to really see the forest). So I’d suggest ditching that train of thought entirely – unless your crystal ball is better than mine, you can’t truly know what would be best for anyone in the long run anyway. Just stick to “I’d really prefer it if she was with us”, a honest statement that’s about your internal state and not the universe at large ;).

By: Sherie

Sherie — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 02:34:35 +0000

I kind of disagree with the letter idea. Written words can be misinterpreted and you’re not available to consult for clarification until the misinterpretation has potentially done damage. You might think and believe with all your might that you have been clear as water with your written words, but in reality the person reading it is looking into the Mississippi.

Write things out, yes. It’s a good way to process and verbalize the words you intend. But if you insist on giving it to this woman, I would us it as more of a handout during a presentation than an actual means of communication. Work on it, get your words down on paper so they seem the clearest and most direct that you can make them, but still actually *talk* with the woman yourself. And then allow her time to read your words and ask what questions she may have.

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 21:31:47 +0000

I have a hard time verbalizing stuff too. Sometimes writing a letter helps. Sit down with your partner and write her a simple and clear letter from the heart. Sometimes it can be helpful for the other person. It gives them something to hold and review. Words spoken can slip away but something written never will.

By: gwendolen

gwendolen — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 23:13:01 +0000

If she’s poly too, then she can be involved with both you and your husband, AND the single man. Unless he isn’t poly or poly friendly. In which case her choice is clear, she needs to decide if she values the relationship with the single guy enough to enter into an exclusive relationship with him, and give up on possibilities with you two.

It also depends what she wants out of a relationship. If this woman wants to get married again, then you two can’t offer her that, not a legal marriage anyway. The single guy can.

I agree with Susan about the custody issue too.

By: Susan

Susan — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 22:55:07 +0000

I don’t know where you live, but just about anywhere, being involved with a couple is not going to help this woman’s custody case. I speak from sad experience. Make sure everyone investigates the possible ramifications.

By: Wolfger

Wolfger — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 16:51:39 +0000

Excellent advise, as usual. :-)