Comments on: High School Musical Chairs

By: Kit Peters

Kit Peters — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 13:04:08 +0000

On your non-polyamorous, non-misanthropic note: what food pantries especially need this time of year is *protein*, and good protein to boot. Most of the protein food pantries receive is high in sodium (e.g. Campbell’s soup) and high in fat (e.g. canned ravioli). Please consider that when you’re buying food for donation.

By: anna

anna — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 22:36:34 +0000

i’m a big fan of the art of facilitation. if you’ve ever done any group facilitation, you know that the biggest job, the first job is to be able to facilitate yourself. that is, to be as aware as possible of what you’re thinking and how you are reacting to outside stimuli. when i facilitate myself, which requires asking myself open-ended questions like, “what do i want right now?” “what is fair right now?” “what can i do to feel better right now?”, and really listening to my answers, i find that i very quickly gain distance and perspective. and only when i really listen to myself this way can i begin to listen to a larger group dynamic. without this kind of facilitation, asking questions to raise understanding and really listening to what other people are saying, i find that i more often am helping create drama.

By: Edward Martin III

Edward Martin III — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 19:07:55 +0000

I doubt there is anything of social-circle critical importance that cannot be left for a while whilst one goes on sabbatical.

Certainly nothing that gets WORSE with one’s absence would have been made MORE fun by being a part of, at any rate.

Cat Stevens has still not learned this.

By: IDMike

IDMike — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 19:01:39 +0000

Interestingly enough, another thing i’ve noticed is that the group tends to distance themselves not from the one who is “right” or “wrong” but from the one that is the biggest pain in the ass.

By: Kit

Kit — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 18:13:50 +0000

When the habit is to leave when things go nutsy kookoo, I used to consider that running away – because it’s exactly what I did for years.
Recently I found myself in a situation that would not have been in my best interests to run from, and the whole sticking it out and behaving like a grown up instead of getting the hell away from teh crazy was Not Fun.
But oddly worthwhile.
I no longer consider leaving a drama fest to be running away – because I figured out it’s *also* Choose Your Battles.

By: David

David — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 17:15:48 +0000

Given that I’m in this middle of my own personal drama that is, in part, skirting the edges of the poly community I’m involved with, I have my own advice for those who are actually a part of any such drama:

If the mixture is already swishing around rapidly, stop stirring the pot and let the contents settle.

Or, to put it another way, don’t add even more drama to that which is already there; in fact, do your best to downgrade the drama that has already sprung up, which I suppose comes back up to the advice above about acting like an adult.