Comments on: Closets http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/12/15/closets/ Wielding the Stick of Grandmotherly Kindness Thu, 02 Feb 2012 05:32:32 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Edward Martin III http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/12/15/closets/comment-page-1/#comment-8194 Edward Martin III Wed, 24 Dec 2008 23:16:22 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=260#comment-8194 Yeah, it can be a little dodgy when people get a wee too vociferous about how "out" they think other people should be. This kind of person should not be confused with the person who says "well, you're not 'out' and that's what's causing you to have this problem." The first sort of person's a twonk, but the second sort is just laying out some facts. Yeah, it can be a little dodgy when people get a wee too vociferous about how “out” they think other people should be.

This kind of person should not be confused with the person who says “well, you’re not ‘out’ and that’s what’s causing you to have this problem.”

The first sort of person’s a twonk, but the second sort is just laying out some facts.

]]> By: Susan http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/12/15/closets/comment-page-1/#comment-8163 Susan Sat, 20 Dec 2008 23:46:21 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=260#comment-8163 I'm "out" too, but I'm one of those rare people who's willing to live openly even with something to lose. I'm a mother of two kids and I share custody with my very socially conservative ex-husband. I teach at a public university in the Deep South. Even my therapist thinks I'm an idiot to be "out." But you know what, it's OK. I lost a few friends and I pay a good lawyer a lot of money but I do all right. The emotional benefits outweigh the drawbacks. I'm not advocating that people be reckless, because depending on one's individual situation you can be pretty vulnerable and I know what that feels like every day. But I get lonely. None of the people I date is willing to be "out." I know people with discreetly open marriages, but none of them is willing to talk about it. And I don't mind waving the poly flag a little either, even though it does make me look like a jerk, because it's the only way anything's going to change. There's worse things than looking like a jerk. Living a lie is one of them. I’m “out” too, but I’m one of those rare people who’s willing to live openly even with something to lose. I’m a mother of two kids and I share custody with my very socially conservative ex-husband. I teach at a public university in the Deep South. Even my therapist thinks I’m an idiot to be “out.” But you know what, it’s OK. I lost a few friends and I pay a good lawyer a lot of money but I do all right. The emotional benefits outweigh the drawbacks. I’m not advocating that people be reckless, because depending on one’s individual situation you can be pretty vulnerable and I know what that feels like every day. But I get lonely. None of the people I date is willing to be “out.” I know people with discreetly open marriages, but none of them is willing to talk about it. And I don’t mind waving the poly flag a little either, even though it does make me look like a jerk, because it’s the only way anything’s going to change. There’s worse things than looking like a jerk. Living a lie is one of them.

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