Comments on: The Care and Feeding of Unicorns http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2009/02/02/the-care-and-feeding-of-unicorns/ Wielding the Stick of Grandmotherly Kindness Thu, 02 Sep 2010 14:07:48 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Goddess of Java http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2009/02/02/the-care-and-feeding-of-unicorns/comment-page-1/#comment-20122 Goddess of Java Tue, 02 Mar 2010 00:44:38 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=285#comment-20122 I am willing to bet Coulton knows damn well what poly is, Jen. I am willing to bet Coulton knows damn well what poly is, Jen.

]]> By: JenK http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2009/02/02/the-care-and-feeding-of-unicorns/comment-page-1/#comment-20121 JenK Tue, 02 Mar 2010 00:31:18 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=285#comment-20121 I thought <a href="http://www.jonathancoulton.com/songdetails/Millionaire" rel="nofollow">this song</a> (which is meant to be a joke) also makes some points on the unicorn hunt: <blockquote> I will wait a lifetime if it takes that long I know she’s out there for I have heard her song In dreams she sings to me Her angel’s voice a symphony Is she in a garden or a meadow fair Does the dappled sunlight shine ribbons in her hair? Does she sit patiently smiling as she waits for me? She’s my millionaire girlfriend and she’s my life Once I finally find her I’ll get permission from the wife We will all live in our castle high My beloved and my millionaire girlfriend and I She’s a stolen secret from a pirate’s chest I will wear an ascot and a suit that has a vest And I will put it on as I watch gardener mow the lawn She’s a fairy princess from a song of old I will have a toothbrush that is made of solid gold And I will watch TV as my manservant flosses me She’s my millionaire girlfriend and she’s my life Once I finally find her I’ll get permission from the wife We will all live in our castle high My beloved and my millionaire girlfriend and I It does not matter to me if she’s pretty All that counts is what she’s got at Citibank Chase Manhattan or even Washington Mutual When my search is ended I will cherish her She will sign some papers, give me power of attorney And what’s hers will be mine in perpetuity She’s my millionaire girlfriend and she’s my life Once I finally find her I’ll get permission from the wife We will all live in our castle high My beloved and my millionaire girlfriend and I My beloved and my millionaire girlfriend and I My beloved and my millionaire girlfriend and I </blockquote> ;) Disclaimer: I don't know if the songwriter really knows anything about polyamory. I just realized that this hits on a lot of how unicorn ads tend to come off --- all about the writer of the ad and how the unicorn will improve the couple's life. I thought this song (which is meant to be a joke) also makes some points on the unicorn hunt:

I will wait a lifetime if it takes that long
I know she’s out there for I have heard her song
In dreams she sings to me
Her angel’s voice a symphony
Is she in a garden or a meadow fair
Does the dappled sunlight shine ribbons in her hair?
Does she sit patiently smiling as she waits for me?

She’s my millionaire girlfriend and she’s my life
Once I finally find her I’ll get permission from the wife
We will all live in our castle high
My beloved and my millionaire girlfriend and I

She’s a stolen secret from a pirate’s chest
I will wear an ascot and a suit that has a vest
And I will put it on as I watch gardener mow the lawn
She’s a fairy princess from a song of old
I will have a toothbrush that is made of solid gold
And I will watch TV as my manservant flosses me

She’s my millionaire girlfriend and she’s my life
Once I finally find her I’ll get permission from the wife
We will all live in our castle high
My beloved and my millionaire girlfriend and I

It does not matter to me if she’s pretty
All that counts is what she’s got at Citibank
Chase Manhattan or even Washington Mutual

When my search is ended I will cherish her
She will sign some papers, give me power of attorney
And what’s hers will be mine in perpetuity

She’s my millionaire girlfriend and she’s my life
Once I finally find her I’ll get permission from the wife
We will all live in our castle high
My beloved and my millionaire girlfriend and I
My beloved and my millionaire girlfriend and I
My beloved and my millionaire girlfriend and I

;)

Disclaimer: I don’t know if the songwriter really knows anything about polyamory. I just realized that this hits on a lot of how unicorn ads tend to come off — all about the writer of the ad and how the unicorn will improve the couple’s life.

]]> By: Morgana http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2009/02/02/the-care-and-feeding-of-unicorns/comment-page-1/#comment-17949 Morgana Tue, 12 Jan 2010 02:53:43 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=285#comment-17949 I would run from this ad like the plague. Never mind the awful specter of ending up as the babysitter or the maid... if I'm good enough to be fucked, I'm good enough to be seen in public and treated respectfully as an equal partner. If you can't do that with your "unicorn," perhaps consider that you are not ready for one, or do not deserve one. I would run from this ad like the plague. Never mind the awful specter of ending up as the babysitter or the maid… if I’m good enough to be fucked, I’m good enough to be seen in public and treated respectfully as an equal partner. If you can’t do that with your “unicorn,” perhaps consider that you are not ready for one, or do not deserve one.

]]> By: curiously random http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2009/02/02/the-care-and-feeding-of-unicorns/comment-page-1/#comment-14557 curiously random Thu, 13 Aug 2009 05:28:19 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=285#comment-14557 How bizarre. I've gone from being the unicorn pursued, to being with a partner and considering pursuing a unicorn, all within a few months. Mind boggling, I tell ya. How bizarre. I’ve gone from being the unicorn pursued, to being with a partner and considering pursuing a unicorn, all within a few months.

Mind boggling, I tell ya.

]]> By: Lucius Scribbens http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2009/02/02/the-care-and-feeding-of-unicorns/comment-page-1/#comment-12091 Lucius Scribbens Sat, 06 Jun 2009 15:57:49 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=285#comment-12091 I think Cinema Babe did a great job on this article. I'm sorry so many have decided to dissect it because in this short space she didn't cover every possible 1,000,000+ possible combinations of polyamorous relationships, especially the one's who got their panties/BVD's in a wad because Cinema Babe didn't cover the commenter's personal situation. Great job, and I'll be following this blog with enthusiasm. I think Cinema Babe did a great job on this article. I’m sorry so many have decided to dissect it because in this short space she didn’t cover every possible 1,000,000+ possible combinations of polyamorous relationships, especially the one’s who got their panties/BVD’s in a wad because Cinema Babe didn’t cover the commenter’s personal situation.

Great job, and I’ll be following this blog with enthusiasm.

]]> By: James "DexX" Dominguez http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2009/02/02/the-care-and-feeding-of-unicorns/comment-page-1/#comment-11352 James "DexX" Dominguez Tue, 19 May 2009 09:25:47 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=285#comment-11352 *waves to Edward* Hey mate, nice to see you around the place! I honestly don't think there's anything inherently wrong with unicorn hunting, as long as everyone involved is fully informed - such as by reading a lot of articles just like this one - and has realistic expectations. A big, healthy dose of self-awareness is always helpful, too; but then, I advocate that all people in all situations should be working hard on figuring out their own minds. An acquaintance of mine once got rather annoyed because all the poly people he knew kept telling him and his partner that their search for a hot bi babe that would be into both of them was very likely to end in disappointment. One reason you need to work out your own desires and motivations is that you need to know the consequences for failing in your quest. I've met some couples for whom the quest for a hot bi babe was driven by deeper problems - filling the void of the child they never had, trying to inject energy back into a dying relationship, and so on. So, to all the unicorn hunters out there, I suggest that you: 1) ask yourself why you and your partner are looking for that hot bi babe, and 2) once you know why, ask yourself if said hot bi babe will be the solution you are really looking for. If your answers are essentially that a hot bi babe would be a fun and awesome addition to your already awesome and stable relationship, then pop some fresh batteries into your unicorn detector and go have fun. :) *waves to Edward* Hey mate, nice to see you around the place!

I honestly don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with unicorn hunting, as long as everyone involved is fully informed – such as by reading a lot of articles just like this one – and has realistic expectations. A big, healthy dose of self-awareness is always helpful, too; but then, I advocate that all people in all situations should be working hard on figuring out their own minds.

An acquaintance of mine once got rather annoyed because all the poly people he knew kept telling him and his partner that their search for a hot bi babe that would be into both of them was very likely to end in disappointment.

One reason you need to work out your own desires and motivations is that you need to know the consequences for failing in your quest. I’ve met some couples for whom the quest for a hot bi babe was driven by deeper problems – filling the void of the child they never had, trying to inject energy back into a dying relationship, and so on.

So, to all the unicorn hunters out there, I suggest that you: 1) ask yourself why you and your partner are looking for that hot bi babe, and 2) once you know why, ask yourself if said hot bi babe will be the solution you are really looking for.

If your answers are essentially that a hot bi babe would be a fun and awesome addition to your already awesome and stable relationship, then pop some fresh batteries into your unicorn detector and go have fun. :)

]]> By: “if it ain’t about love, you’re probably doing it wrong.” « Curiouslyrandom’s Blog http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2009/02/02/the-care-and-feeding-of-unicorns/comment-page-1/#comment-11235 “if it ain’t about love, you’re probably doing it wrong.” « Curiouslyrandom’s Blog Sat, 16 May 2009 07:42:38 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=285#comment-11235 [...] site to join them and their wife for fun, sex, and family life. I suppose they view me as a “unicorn” and that’s fine, but I’m not sure that’s what I want for myself. [...] [...] site to join them and their wife for fun, sex, and family life. I suppose they view me as a “unicorn” and that’s fine, but I’m not sure that’s what I want for myself. [...]

]]> By: Tina http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2009/02/02/the-care-and-feeding-of-unicorns/comment-page-1/#comment-8840 Tina Mon, 23 Feb 2009 23:22:35 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=285#comment-8840 Sometimes unicorns get tired of being unicorns Sometimes unicorns get tired of being unicorns

]]> By: Todd http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2009/02/02/the-care-and-feeding-of-unicorns/comment-page-1/#comment-8722 Todd Tue, 10 Feb 2009 22:09:44 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=285#comment-8722 Jennifer: Because of culture or evpsych or what have you, there's the whole perception that girl on girl is "cute" or "harmless" while another guy entering the mix is actual competition. So yes, "what if she meets another guy" is a worthwhile something for these people to ask themselves. What gets me most about these people, though, is their false advertising. There are certainly girls out there who enjoy placing the interests of other people above their own. (Nowhere near close to the demand for such girls, but they do exist.) Submissives. And the relationship fantasies a lot of these couples have sound very much like D/s to me. There's nothing wrong with D/s, but there's something very wrong about trying to sell it as some sort of hippie love-in. Maybe-I'm-too-hopeful bonus? The more these couples realize how much they have to compete with other couples for a limited resource, the more incentive they have to take good care of both themselves and their subs. Jennifer:
Because of culture or evpsych or what have you, there’s the whole perception that girl on girl is “cute” or “harmless” while another guy entering the mix is actual competition. So yes, “what if she meets another guy” is a worthwhile something for these people to ask themselves.

What gets me most about these people, though, is their false advertising. There are certainly girls out there who enjoy placing the interests of other people above their own. (Nowhere near close to the demand for such girls, but they do exist.) Submissives. And the relationship fantasies a lot of these couples have sound very much like D/s to me. There’s nothing wrong with D/s, but there’s something very wrong about trying to sell it as some sort of hippie love-in.

Maybe-I’m-too-hopeful bonus? The more these couples realize how much they have to compete with other couples for a limited resource, the more incentive they have to take good care of both themselves and their subs.

]]> By: Edward Martin III http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2009/02/02/the-care-and-feeding-of-unicorns/comment-page-1/#comment-8720 Edward Martin III Tue, 10 Feb 2009 19:31:20 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=285#comment-8720 Jennifer writes "It pretty much carries the assumption that any bi woman is primarily het, with a sexual interest in women." Well, that's kinda the subject of the article -- the hunt for het chickiebabes. I'm more amused by any ad looking for someone who does not already have a partner, and insisting (indirectly) that they not GET a partner. There had best be some solid-gold genitalia in the offering if one's trying to put a lockdown on someone else's pussy, is all I'm sayin'. Jennifer writes “It pretty much carries the assumption that any bi woman is primarily het, with a sexual interest in women.”

Well, that’s kinda the subject of the article — the hunt for het chickiebabes.

I’m more amused by any ad looking for someone who does not already have a partner, and insisting (indirectly) that they not GET a partner. There had best be some solid-gold genitalia in the offering if one’s trying to put a lockdown on someone else’s pussy, is all I’m sayin’.

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