Comments on: Help Me With My Homework

By: Curiouslyrandom’s Blog

Curiouslyrandom’s Blog — Sat, 16 May 2009 07:41:32 +0000

[...] is from the latest addition to my blogroll, The Polyamorous Misanthrope. It’s a snip of this post that grabbed my attention, threw me to the ground and sat on me, but in a warm and cuddly [...]

By: Goddess of Java

Goddess of Java — Tue, 05 May 2009 14:33:11 +0000

@Ed: The issue there is that I know at least one self-identified swinger who says, “I only have sex with friends.”

So… It’s a fuzzy line at best.

By: Ed

Ed — Tue, 05 May 2009 14:25:29 +0000

My wife and I experimented with the swinging thing and it just left me sort of empty — I want to know people more deeply than that. Seems like swingers want to keep swinging and “real life” much more separate in their lives (a bit of smugness there on my part). Not that I don’t like the idea of group sex but would much prefer that to happen with people that i can also go have coffee with or take a hike on “off” sex days. :)

By: AnnA

AnnA — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 16:58:31 +0000

I am married to a wonderful man and woman and the three of us make a home for out two kids. It is good to see you giving voice to our community.
Thanks

By: Alexandra Lynch

Alexandra Lynch — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 02:06:14 +0000

Misconceptions: That because I’m bi and poly that I will do anyone anytime anywhere…. or that because I’ve got a husband, a boyfriend, and another couple that are FWB, that I spend all my time in bed. (All the ones I’m not married to live just far enough away to make jaunting over on a whim not practical.)

My husband and I have talked this over a lot over the years, and come to the conclusion that for us polyamory is a deeply hardwired thing, deep as our sexual orientations, and about as movable; which is to say, we could make ourselves act monogamous, just as we could make ourselves act straight. So asking what we get out of it is like asking what you get when you come out of the closet; you get yourself, and can give it to your partners. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

Swinging and polyamory; I think it’s mostly semantics, really. I tend personally to put relationships that are more about grinding bits together and less about long talks about life, the universe, and everything in the realm of swinging, but that’s my prejudice.

And yeah, if it’s not about love, you’re doing it wrong.

By: Goddess of Java

Goddess of Java — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 23:57:37 +0000

*chuckles* I’m impressed.

You may be the first person who has ever had the guts to proposition me via this column.

Audaces fortuna iuvat.

By: ~Cat RiverOtter

~Cat RiverOtter — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 23:53:22 +0000

...“Swinging is about sex and poly is about relationships.” I don’t agree with that, entirely. ... It reminds me of the girls in my high school who would sneer at other girls having sex, but were okay with doing it themselves because they were “Really in love.” \o/ Oh Great Goddess, I love you! Mind you, I am such a non-swinger that, in my first marriage, most of my friends didn't even know I was married¹ & my current primary-SO & I have been functionally monogamous for years. However, I just can't see drawing a line between swinging & polyamory with anything but a big, red Hypocracy Pen. Keep it about love. I’m not very fluffy, and Ceiling Cat knows I’m a bit on the stern side, but if it ain’t about love, you’re probably doing it wrong. *sigh* Yes, it's love. Do you mind if I contact your friends for tips in wooing you? Would you like to visit two middleaged polyfolk & stroll the beach looking for seashells while we make calves' eyes at you?? ;-) ¹....by which I mean, most of my friends thought I was your usual geeky single-&-sexless undergrad, rather than a Worldly Married Woman.