Comments on: Wishful Thinking Doesn’t Work http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2009/07/27/wishful-thinking-doesnt-work/ Wielding the Stick of Grandmotherly Kindness Thu, 02 Sep 2010 14:07:48 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Summer http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2009/07/27/wishful-thinking-doesnt-work/comment-page-1/#comment-14182 Summer Wed, 29 Jul 2009 22:49:02 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=323#comment-14182 Amen. Let me just add that going into a relationship thinking "I'll tell them now it's okay they are poly and I accept it - because I know they will love me so much I can CHANGE THEM to suit myself later." In fact, any relationship where you think you are going to change someone around to suit yourself later is doomed to failure. Amen. Let me just add that going into a relationship thinking “I’ll tell them now it’s okay they are poly and I accept it – because I know they will love me so much I can CHANGE THEM to suit myself later.” In fact, any relationship where you think you are going to change someone around to suit yourself later is doomed to failure.

]]> By: Vastatuuli http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2009/07/27/wishful-thinking-doesnt-work/comment-page-1/#comment-14116 Vastatuuli Mon, 27 Jul 2009 16:35:50 +0000 http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=323#comment-14116 Applause. I really needed this reminder, and I think a lot of other more or less monogamous people do too. My partner's been honest with me from the beginning and while I initially really thought I'd be okay with him not wanting to be with me ONLY... it's turned out to be a lot harder than I thought. Of course, things have changed a lot within our relationship(s) and I've managed to adjust my mindset as well. But really, knowing when to back off means you have to KNOW you're not ready (now or ever) for a polyamorous relationship. I didn't know back then, and I'm still kind of thinking, though for this person I'm willing to give it a try, and then another, and then some. Applause. I really needed this reminder, and I think a lot of other more or less monogamous people do too. My partner’s been honest with me from the beginning and while I initially really thought I’d be okay with him not wanting to be with me ONLY… it’s turned out to be a lot harder than I thought. Of course, things have changed a lot within our relationship(s) and I’ve managed to adjust my mindset as well.

But really, knowing when to back off means you have to KNOW you’re not ready (now or ever) for a polyamorous relationship. I didn’t know back then, and I’m still kind of thinking, though for this person I’m willing to give it a try, and then another, and then some.

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