“Now it is a strange thing, but things that are good to have and days that are good to spend are soon told about, and not much to listen to; while things that are uncomfortable, palpitating, and even gruesome, may make a good tale, and take a good deal of telling anyway.” — J.R.R. Tolkein
Apparently someone referred to the advice on this blog as awesome on Twitter about an hour ago.
That’s really cool, and heavens yes, I’m flattered. Though my first response was, “Awesome? Maybe. But this blog? Dead.”
Thing is, it’s dead for good reasons, even if they’re not good for the poly community. After all, you guys are just pantingly eager for my next post, right?
You see, nothing in my life is inspiring a column! I could talk about how I went down to visit FWB, Button and the Baby, but that’s hardly exciting to you, since nothing happened that needed to be talked out or solved. (Though those of you on Netflix have got to check out “Breaking the Maya Code” documentary. It’s fascinating).
See? Babies? Linguistics documentaries? I’m a nerd and that’s what my life and relationships are about.
Or I could talk about my husband and his girlfriend, except? What? I like her? We get along? We’re both happy my husband makes a fantastic dirty martini? I enjoy that stuff, but it’s not exactly cranky misanthrope blog material.
Though, when you think about it, that’s when poly is really good — when you’re not focused on form and function, but are enjoying living. The relationship stuff that comes up isn’t poly-specific, usually.
Like last night. I got severely pissed at The Prince for what I’d thought of as a lack of communication about a non-relationship matter. Now, I’ve learned that when I’m pissed to back off and think, so it’s not that poly and relationships have taught me nothing. Rather the opposite. Rather than freak, I took care of a situation and kept my damned mouth shut until a calm time when we could talk. In the end, it turned out that he’d been quite fully communicative, but for some reason, the text he sent didn’t show up on my phone. So, it was a communication thing and a relationship thing, but not a poly thing. And not material for a poly-specific column.
Though maybe that’s what the poly community needs. Maybe we who have our live and matter-of-fact relationships, we who aren’t surrounded by whirling chaos, but are just living and enjoying our lives that happen to be poly need to talk about it more. So often the forums are dominated by the newly or wanting-to-be poly unhappy and needing advice, or the newly poly delirous with the wonder of it all. Certainly these states are as valid as any other and I’m not trying to denigrate where you might be in life. I am just thinking that those of us busy living could take a few moments, tell our stories, and show that at some point, it’s not all high drama.
But maybe that would be too dull.