Category Archives: boundaries
But that Disqualifies ME!!!
There’s been a few discussions going around various polyamory communities talking about relationship rules, tastes in physiques, and a lot of other things. Part of the discussion will invariably involve why some standard or another is wrong. When you dig … Continue reading
A Good Touchstone
We all have our standards for choosing loves. That’s cool. We should. I’d like to share one of mine: How does he treat someone he isn’t interested in gettin’ busy with? If there’s a significant gap in kindness, courtesy or … Continue reading
Designated Control Freak
One of the issues that often arise in poly situations — especially in group living is who decides what gets done. Sure, sure, a consensus model works. But have you ever gotten more than two people to happily agree on … Continue reading
It Ain’t Just Polyamory, People!
Back many moons ago when I used to write for PolyFamilies, my spice at the time and I used to muse over the fact that the site would be useful to almost anyone. It was mostly about running a household, … Continue reading
You Don’t Have to Do It
I’ve been watching on several polyamory boards to see people trying to make themselves okay with being in polyamorous relationships. I’ve seen descriptions of people feeling like their hearts are being ripped out. I’ve seen descriptions of people wanting to … Continue reading
Front of the hand, back of the hand …
This guest column is by Jenny Ford. Polyamory ain’t all beer and skittles. Like your hand, it has two sides, and they can’t be separated. For every wonderful advantage to being polyamorous, there is a corresponding down side, and some … Continue reading
But I NEED You!
I’ve been in sexual relationships for over twenty years as well as having made a study of them in the last seven. The more I study, the more I see that many problems in relationships seem to be problems of … Continue reading
Thou Art God
That pantheistic, mystical “Thou art God!” chorus that runs through the book is not offered as a creed, but as an existentialist assumption of personal responsibility, devoid of all godding. It says, “Don’t appeal for mercy to God the Father … Continue reading
Dependent/Independent/Interdependent
Community is important. (Yeah, yeah, I know, big shock that I’d say that. Stop pretending to have a heart attack). I’ve been preaching boundaries and acceptable behavior for many months here, and the reason I do it is because community … Continue reading
The Brave Little Toaster
This week’s column is by guest writer Rainy Hannah A few years ago, while in the throes of a very bad breakup, I stopped participating in the larger polyamorous community. I unsubscribed from everything and spent the next year and … Continue reading