Category Archives: Communication
Assertive Communication
In reading on polyamory boards and in discussions about relationships, it seems that a lot of issues come up that could be more effectively solved with assertive communication skills. Take this example. While this might look familiar, I didn’t copy … Continue reading
Designated Control Freak
One of the issues that often arise in poly situations — especially in group living is who decides what gets done. Sure, sure, a consensus model works. But have you ever gotten more than two people to happily agree on … Continue reading
Effective Communication
We talk about communication being important between polyamorous people all the time, and with good reason. It is important. I got to thinking about ways to ensure good communication and came up with the following: Tell the truth This seems … Continue reading
You Don’t Have to Do It
I’ve been watching on several polyamory boards to see people trying to make themselves okay with being in polyamorous relationships. I’ve seen descriptions of people feeling like their hearts are being ripped out. I’ve seen descriptions of people wanting to … Continue reading
Thou Art God
That pantheistic, mystical “Thou art God!” chorus that runs through the book is not offered as a creed, but as an existentialist assumption of personal responsibility, devoid of all godding. It says, “Don’t appeal for mercy to God the Father … Continue reading
Communicate, Communicate, Communicate
We talk about the polyamory mantra being communicate, communicate, communicate. Do I agree with it? Good Lord, yes! Communication is the cornerstone of a good relationship. When you stop communicating, things fall apart. Most people who’ve been on this spinning … Continue reading
Infidelity: A Deeper Analysis of the Desperate Housewife (or -Husband)
This isn’t by the Goddess of Java, but is by The Ferret and originally posted here. Reposted by permission. This is excellent stuff! In my last discussion of infidelity, I outlined the four basic types of cheaters. Of that, there … Continue reading
What Do I Want?
Mama Java’s been ranting about asking for what you want and explaining why it’s important to do so lately. Yeah, yeah, that’s all cool and groovy and evolved and shit. What if you don’t know what you want? Valid concern. … Continue reading
I Shouldn’t Want That!
Quick quiz: When I ask for something I ask for What I think I should want. What I think I can get that is closest to what I want. What I want. I chose what I should want. Okay, sure, … Continue reading
I IZ IN UR EMAIL ANSWERING UR QUESTIONZ
Greetings Misanthrope, I have a difficult problem and I am not sure how to go about dealing with it. I live in a quad arrangement with my husband and another couple but I do not have a sexual relationship with … Continue reading