Category Archives: Love

Where’s the Love?

I have a fundamental flaw that is of course so embedded in my personality, that I cannot recognize it. Maybe you can help. I fall in love with plain, vanilla women for about a year, sometimes less sometimes much longer. … Continue reading

Posted in Ask the Misanthrope, Love | 6 Comments

Can a Polyamorous Marriage Last?

Today, my husband and I have been married twenty years. Now, unlike a lot of married couples, we never were monogamous.  It’s part of the reason why I choke when people ask how to transition from a monogamous relationship to … Continue reading

Posted in Love, relationships | 3 Comments

Comparing? Maybe It Doesn’t Help

That was the best sex/meal/evening I ever had! Ever said anything like that?  Ever said anything like that to a lover what wasn’t included in on said activity?  What kind of reaction did you get?  Maybe none.  Maybe one that … Continue reading

Posted in Love | 3 Comments

Preachin’ to the Choir

In an unusual and unscheduled post, I’d encourage people to check this out. It’s quite eloquent. If it ain’t about love… If you’re having a hard time with the video, the text is here.

Posted in Love | 6 Comments

A Good Touchstone

We all have our standards for choosing loves. That’s cool. We should. I’d like to share one of mine: How does he treat someone he isn’t interested in gettin’ busy with? If there’s a significant gap in kindness, courtesy or … Continue reading

Posted in boundaries, Love, relationships | 8 Comments

Relationship Broken, Add More People

Polyamorous literature is full of touching stories of how opening a marriage rekindled a deep and abiding love between the original couple and deepen their relationship. You think I’m gonna sneer, ain’tcha? Nope. I’m not. I think many of those … Continue reading

Posted in Love, relationships | 5 Comments

You Don’t Have to Do It

I’ve been watching on several polyamory boards to see people trying to make themselves okay with being in polyamorous relationships. I’ve seen descriptions of people feeling like their hearts are being ripped out. I’ve seen descriptions of people wanting to … Continue reading

Posted in boundaries, Communication, Love, relationships | 17 Comments

But I NEED You!

I’ve been in sexual relationships for over twenty years as well as having made a study of them in the last seven. The more I study, the more I see that many problems in relationships seem to be problems of … Continue reading

Posted in boundaries, Love, relationships | 15 Comments

Thou Art God

That pantheistic, mystical “Thou art God!” chorus that runs through the book is not offered as a creed, but as an existentialist assumption of personal responsibility, devoid of all godding. It says, “Don’t appeal for mercy to God the Father … Continue reading

Posted in boundaries, Communication, Love | 16 Comments

Dependent/Independent/Interdependent

Community is important. (Yeah, yeah, I know, big shock that I’d say that. Stop pretending to have a heart attack). I’ve been preaching boundaries and acceptable behavior for many months here, and the reason I do it is because community … Continue reading

Posted in boundaries, Love, relationships, The Polyamory Community | 8 Comments