Category Archives: polyamory 101

Trying to Break Us Up

What to do when a secondary female is trying get the primary male to breakup with the primary female in a polyamorous relationship? This  was not an Ask the Misanthrope Question, but a search term that appeared to link to … Continue reading

Posted in polyamory 101, relationships | 9 Comments

Ask the Misanthrope: Polyamorous Lie Detector?

A Reader Asks: My boyfriend told me that he was polyamorous two years ago, and I really liked him and I also liked the idea. I was the first to ask him if I could see another person, but he … Continue reading

Posted in Ask the Misanthrope, polyamory 101 | 11 Comments

“How Can I Tell if I’m Polyamorous?” is the Wrong Question

I ran across a post not too long ago asking how one could know if one were polyamorous or not.  I break a bit with a lot of the poly community who see being polyamorous as something of a genetic … Continue reading

Posted in polyamory 101 | 3 Comments

My Wife Doesn’t Understand Me

“I’m in a mid-life crisis, I guess.  The passion is out of my life and I’m looking for something more.   My wife doesn’t understand me.” Any polyamorous person on a dating site is almost sure to get a message like … Continue reading

Posted in Communication, polyamory 101, relationships | 4 Comments

Handling Jealousy: How to Fuck Up

I’ve been seeing more than the usual amount of discussion about jealousy on various poly boards lately, so I figure this might be a little topical to people.   I have pulled out of the air the Definitive[1] Five-Point List of … Continue reading

Posted in Communication, polyamory 101 | 9 Comments

Patient Griselda, or, Minding the Gap

Mama Java is lounging on the beach right now.  Well, okay RIGHT NOW, I’m probably getting sunscreen on squirming little children, collecting beach chairs and making sure everyone has their towels, but I am at the beach this week.  Here’s … Continue reading

Posted in Communication, Guest Column, polyamory 101 | 3 Comments

Ask the Misanthrope: Coming Out as Poly

Dear Polyamorous Misanthrope, I recently started a relationship with a person who has never been poly before. We’ve been dating for a little over a month and things have gotten really emotionally intimate, really fast. It’s wonderful and we’re both … Continue reading

Posted in Ask the Misanthrope, boundaries, polyamory 101 | 1 Comment

Ask the Misanthrope: Confused and Need Help

This letter is an edited highlights version – just for clarity’s sake: I am attracted to the idea of polyamory for the spiritual implications, perhaps even more so than the physical ones. I feel it can help us to grow … Continue reading

Posted in Ask the Misanthrope, polyamory 101 | 5 Comments

Ask the Misanthrope: Jealousy?

A Faithful Reader Asks: My husband and I have been discussing polyamory over the past couple months. I feel comfortable with the idea, and I know we communicate very well with each other. I am actually concerned about how my … Continue reading

Posted in Ask the Misanthrope, polyamory 101, relationships | 3 Comments

We’ve Done It, Now Let Me Fix Your Life

There’s a popular situation in sitcoms and romantic comedies.  There’ll be this couple — one of them[1] being presented as having their life a bit out of order.  The couple sleeps together, and then the more together partner starts getting … Continue reading

Posted in boundaries, polyamory 101, relationships | 1 Comment