“Polyamory is not the next wave in human evolution. Nor is is more enlightened, more spiritual, more progressive or more advanced than monogamy. Polyamorous people are not less jealous, more compassionate or better at communicating than monogamists.” – More Than Two
I’ve spent the last few weeks reading More Than Two by Eve Rickert and Franklin Veaux, and then making less than helpful cryptic comments about the book.
I hope that my faithful Facebook followers have gathered from my incredibly subtle comments that I approve of the book. Yes, I do like More Than Two. While the body of polyamory literature tends to be good, I think the message and presentation of More Than Two is my favorite.
Well, that’s exactly it. The authors take the time to explain the whys and wherefores of polyamory very well. They’re grounded in the real and the proveable. They explain the principles behind their thoughts. Then they do a great thing. At the end of each chapter are several questions to ask yourself and think about. I love this part the best. Sure, sure, you can read the book and get a great deal out of it without these questions, but if you really want to examine yourself, your relationships and truly understand what you’re about and what you want in relationships, this is an amazing guide to do so.
This book explains what polyamory is, helps you think about whether or not polyamory is for you, breaks down the skills necessary for a poly relationship (and in reality, they’re pretty similar to the skills required for any successful relationship), then discusses some of the problems encountered in polyamory, what to expect and gives some suggestions for coping.
Polyamory tends to value honesty, and I’m pleased to say that like any really great polyamory book, the authors don’t spare themselves. They talk about their screwups, what they learned from them and discuss their struggles as well as their triumphs.
And while I did read this book to support a friend, I also want to point out that More Than Two is on my re-read and annotate the heck out of list. I already have about twenty-odd notes and thoughts about the text that I’m still in the process of analyzing. Friends, this one makes you think. Any any book that encourages you to think clearly about emotionally charged subjects like romantic relationships can only be a positive.
More Than Two is available for pre-order here. Go ahead. You will be glad you did.